By Michael Kearns

Gays in the military? What next? Gays in the movies? Oh, my.

Before Isaac Mizrahi is commissioned to incorporate hot pink triangles into the wardrobe of our openly gay and lesbian troops, let's get serious.

The operative word is “openly” since we all know there have been gays in the military, dating back to Walt Whitman's days as a nurse in the Civil War.

Largely predicated on news of President Bush's plans to implement an Iraq troop “surge” (a good name for a gay bar if there ever was one), Gen. John M. Shalikashvili has gone on record saying, "We must welcome the service of any American who is willing and able to do the job."

In fact, the former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff has called for the repeal of “Don't Ask, Don't Tell,” the law that requires lesbians and gays to remain sealed in the closet if they choose to be a member of the nation's armed forces.

Hmmm. Do you suppose Kevin Spacey is packing his bags?

Suggesting that most Americans believed “homosexuality was incompatible with service” back in 1993, Shalikashvili has since changed his tune from “Don't Ask, Don't Tell” to the Village People's “In The Navy.”

According to Shalikashvili, the military feared that allowing “people who were openly gay [to] serve would lower morale, harm recruitment and undermine unit cohesion.” I guess they're not familiar with the Los Angeles Gay Men's Chorus.

The brutal reality is that gays and lesbians are, once again, being treated as second-class citizens. This strikes me as similar to the stance taken by many adoption courts throughout these hypocritical United States. While refusing to acknowledge same-sex marriage and insisting that children need to be brought up by a father and a mother, when there's no one else to embrace unwanted and discarded children, the courts let the queers take 'em.

According to Shalikashvili, the military has changed during the past decade and “gays and lesbians can be accepted by their peers.” Stupid me, I thought Will & Grace was just fluff.

What begs questioning is why any self-respecting gay man or lesbian would want to go to Iraq? Fight for an America that continues to treat us as inferior beings?

We may like to dress up in army fatigue drag, but aren't we pacifists at heart? Gays and lesbians have been embroiled in countless wars. God knows we can fight: fight for our human rights, fight homophobia, fight for the cure of AIDS, fight for the right to marry, fight fag bashers, fight drug and alcohol addiction. But aren't we intrinsically lovers, not fighters?

I believe that gay men and lesbians should have been granted the right to cease camouflaging their sexual orientation when then-President Bill Clinton proposed lifting the ban in 1993. However, after more than 3,000 Americans and countless Iraqis have lost their precious lives—factoring in hundreds of gay and lesbian lives—in a war that is being dictated by an imbecilic madman, who among us, gay or straight, would consider joining the fray?

The first conscientious objector imprisoned for refusing to fight in the Iraq war was a young gay man. At 19 years old, Stephen Funk said, “In writing my application for discharge, I was completely honest about who I am. Part of that meant acknowledging that I am gay. I believe that homosexuals should be able to serve if they choose, and that 'Don't Ask Don't Tell' is an awful policy that only helps the military perpetuate anti-gay sentiment among it's ranks. However, I am not an advocate for gay inclusion in the military because I personally do not support military action.”

Stephen Funk is my (anti) war hero.

Michael Kearns can be reached at www.michaelkearns.net.