A love letter to the mysterious and intriguing men of leather

By Gene Mar

I love leather. The smell, the feel, the way I sweat in it on a summer day. Even better, I love the way other men look when they wear it. To me, a hot man in tight leather chaps is the ultimate image of the masculine gay male.

Where does this come from? What is it about black cow skin stretched tightly across the body of a man that is so damned sexy?

Hmmm...There are a lot of answers to that question. To get a better idea of what is so hot about leather, let's take a look at the man who wears it.

When you see a man in leather many different images and feelings come to the surface: sex, masculinity, bondage, strength, fear, muscle, and mystery.

Mystery. That one word could be the most powerful descriptor. A leather harness and chaps can hide more about a person than they reveal. What kind of man wears these things out in public for everyone to see? Is this a man to fear? A man to respect? Will he hurt me? Where does he come from? Where is he going? How do I get there?

The leather image is one of absolute masculinity. Here is a man who is not afraid to be an individual, standing out from the average crowd. His look projects independence and confidence. This is not a shy, timid man. This is a man comfortable in his own skin. He knows who and what he is, and he doesn't care what other mainstream people think. The leatherman is not defined by roles like top or bottom. He is who and what he wants to be when he wants to be it. He has strength of character, personal pride, and is fiercely independent.

This is a man who lives life with an intensity that most people can only dream about. He grabs life by the balls and squeezes out every ounce of enjoyment that he can. You can see it his eyes. There is a spark, which only hints at the raging inferno burning in his soul. Intensity radiates from him like a star about to go supernova. Even if you've never felt it before, you know there is something special there.

Do the clothes make the man? Not at all. Chaps, harnesses, vests— these are just the accoutrements. A real leatherman doesn't need to be in leather to be a leatherman. Leather is an idea, a concept. It is as much about attitude, energy, and integrity as it is about clothing. A leatherman is not defined by the clothes he wears, but by the way he behaves. Any idiot can go to his local leather shop, drop a few thousand dollars on custom chaps and a jacket, dress up and go hit the bars. This does not make him a leatherman. It makes him a guy in leather. There is a difference.

A lot of people will tell you that a leatherman is a sadomasochist who likes pain. While there are leathermen who are sadomasochists, and sadomasochists who are leathermen, the two are not the end-all and be-all of the leather world. The leatherman is too complex to be limited by such narrow definitions. Some men in leather are into pain and bondage. Some are not. S&M, bondage, domination, and submission may be part of the leather community, but these things are hardly the whole of the leather community. Just like an iceberg, you have to look beneath the surface to see the man under the leather.

Each person takes the journey down the path of the leatherman for his own reasons. Some men embrace the hyper-masculine attitude of the leatherman. Others find comfort in being something other than mundane. It is an identity that rejects the assimilationist attitude of the politically correct, homogenous society that is all around us today.

And for some, it is about the sex, the bondage, the pain. Tying someone up—or getting tied up— can be invigorating. The freedom that comes from giving in to another person is exhilarating. The power of taking control of someone else can be intoxicating. To play in this arena means confronting issues of trust and fear.

The first time you experience S&M you are going to be scared. It's normal. Anytime a person does something he has never done before, there is going to be some anxiety. In the area of leather sex, this can be both frightening and exciting at the same time. That fear and excitement are often the very things that make leather so intriguing.

You ask yourself, “Can I do this? Will it change me?”

You soon learn that the answer to that is, “Yes, I can do this.” And you can bet that it will change you.

That first experience with leather and S&M can be absolutely mind blowing. It will open your eyes to a whole new level of being alive. I have been told by some that,before entering the leather world, they were merely existing. Now that they know just how invigorating life can be, they are really living!

The leatherman understands this. He craves that thirst for life in himself and he nurtures it in others. He is a student of those who have come before him and mentor to those who would follow him. In S&M, he takes the time to learn how to do things that will excite his partner without harming him. He embodies the principles of trust, honor, and respect. His actions speak louder than his words. He takes responsibility for his actions and accepts the consequences.

The leatherman knows the value of the phrase “integrity before orgasm.” He is grateful to the men who took the time to teach him about leather, S&M, and brotherhood. More importantly, he will take those lessons and pass them down to the people he meets.

The leatherman may look hot, and what he can do might make you blow the biggest load in your life, but it is the man under the leather—and all the things he is and can be—that is the sexiest.