By John Hobbs

Thursday, Feb. 22

Maneater

Watch out, boys—that Tina will chew you up. Don’t let her rob the gay community of its vitality. Join AIDS Project L.A. for an educational forum mobilizing the black gay community against the pernicious party drug. 7-9 p.m. Plummer Park Great Hall, 7377 Santa Monica Blvd., W. Hlywd. www.apla.org

Gay’s Anatomy

Her show killed in Provincetown this past summer. San Francisco and New Orleans were brought to their knees. Now Varla Jean Merman is charming the City of Angels with her hilarious comedy/cabaret act, Varla Jean Is Anatomically Incorrect at Ultra Suede. $25. Two-drink minimum. Thursday nights, 8 p.m. Through March. 29 (no show March 1). 661 N. Robertson Blvd. W. Hlywd. www.groovetickets.com

Trash Bash

Nothing to do this Thursday night? Rubbish! Head over to Club Trash at The Derby, where the party is jumping with DJs spinning rock, indie, electronic and new wave. 4500 Los Feliz Blvd., L.A. www.clubtrashsilverlake.com

Electric Youth

The Arena is ground zero for the 18-and-over pulsating pop party Tiger Heat with DJ Ray Rhodes. $8 cover. Every Thursday, 9:30 p.m.-2 a.m. Hollywood Arena, 6655 Santa Monica Blvd., Hlywd. www.clubtigerheat.com

Party Like a Rock Star

Thursday nights rock at Ultra Suede as the trendy dancery presents Rock ‘n’ Roll Fag Bar. For just two bones, you can throw down rock-star drink specials and rock out to some kick-ass mixes of electronica, modern rock and alternative by DJ Kathy Valenti. $2. 9 p.m. 661 N. Robertson Blvd., W. Hlywd. www.factorynightclub.com

Smack Attack

Gulp, don’t sip the cocktails served up tall, cold and free for just five minutes each hour at Smack, the world’s fastest open bar. DJ Josh Peace provides the eclectic musical soundtrack to this boisterous party. Every Thursday. Free. 9 p.m. O-Bar, 8279 Santa Monica Blvd., W. Hlywd. www.tomwhitmanpresents.com

Can you feel the heat?

Ladies—does the freezing winter weather have you looking for some Heat? Check out here lounge’s Thursday night party featuring loads of luscious lesbians and DJ Josh Peace dropping the illest mixes of your favorite hip-hop, Latin dance and reggaeton songs. 696 Robertson Blvd., W. Hlywd. www.herelounge.com

Friday, feb. 23

Legal Eagles

Law professionals—bring your legalese up to speed with the Williams Institute’s sixth annual update on sexual orientation law and public policy, a free seminar taking place today at 11 a.m. Grab a drink and network afterward at the cocktail reception which begins at 6:30 p.m. $100 cocktail reception. UCLA School of Law, Westwood. www.law.ucla.edu/williamsinstitute

Real Gone Cats

Hey daddy-o, do you dig jazz? Head over to The Ten20 Café tonight where you can Bop ‘Til You Drop with CJS Quintet, who will perform songs from their new album, Let’s Play, at the Bel Age Hotel eatery. Two drink minimum. 8 p.m.-midnight. 1020 San Vicente Blvd., W. Hlywd. (310) 854-1111

Weekly Bible Study It Is Not

Join Tom Whitman for Drunk and Horny, West Hollywood’s sexy Friday night party at i candy where DJ Josh Peace keeps the party bumpin’ with his hot mix of dirty pop, trashy house and party music. Free. 9 p.m.-2 a.m. 7929 Santa Monica Blvd., W. Hlywd. www.tomwhitmanpresents.com

Pull Over

You won’t find any 18-wheelers, blue-plate specials or squawking CB radios at this Truck Stop—just a bunch of hotties dancing on the bar to the tunes of DJ Herrick Hell. Every Friday. here, 696 N. Robertson Blvd., W. Hlywd. www.herelounge.com

Where’s the Beef?

If you think Friday night at Oasis Nightclub is a meat market, you’re wrong. It’s a Meat Locker. Join the Upland hangout for its Friday night lineup, bringing together some of the hottest dancers Southern California has to offer. 1386 E. Foothill Blvd., Upland. www.oasis-nightclub.com

Saturday, Feb. 24

From the Host to the Toast

Finding Nöel Alumit at a Skylight Books event is nothing new, but tonight the bookstore’s special events host comes out from behind the scenes to be a featured author, signing copies of his second novel, Talking to the Moon, about a Filipino postman who is the target of a racially motivated shooting. 7:30 p.m. 1818 N. Vermont Ave., Los Feliz. (323) 660-1175

Lez Get It Started

Love is on the menu tonight at Bocata Yes Restaurant when the L.A. Gay and Lesbian Center takes over the downtown eatery for its Valentine’s Love Ball for Women. Slip into your sexiest little number, grab your favorite galpal (or fly solo) and pop in for some dinner, dancing and lots of romancing. Reservations required. 8 p.m.-1:30 a.m. 836 S. Grand Ave., Downtown L.A. (323) 860-7394 or fdary@lagaycenter.org

Make you Sweat

Work up a sweat this evening with Bala Yoga and Spirit Moves as the two host a party for the launch of Yoga Swap, a brand new alliance of independent yoga studios offering reciprocal membership privileges. The sweaty soiree will feature a lineup of classes including belly dancing, meditation and transformational dance. $10. 9 p.m.-midnight. Bala Yoga, 4219 Santa Monica Blvd., L.A. www.tonehenge.com or www.balayoga.net

Nocturnal Emissions

Tune in to Indie 103.1 FM at midnight for Neon Noise with DJ Paul V. His weekly radio show features all the dirty electro, indie rock remixes, and mashups you can shake a stick at. It's the next best thing to actually being at a club! www.myspace.com/smashmix

Wind it Up

So the night is starting to wind down, but you aren’t ready to turn in yet—what do you do? Head over to Ultra Suede tonight for the Reflex after-hours, which keep the party going into the wee hours of the morning. $15-25. 2:30-8 a.m. 661 N. Robertson Blvd., W. Hlywd. www.groovetickets.com

Wiggle it Just a little bit

If you’re planning to hit the town tonight, don’t forget to leave some Wiggle Room in your schedule. The new club night at i candy—featuring free Svedka vodka shots from 9 to 10 p.m., a pantheon of go-go gods and DJ Chi Chi La Rue on the turntables—is sure to become your new Saturday night hotspot. 7929 Santa Monica Blvd., W. Hlywd. www.icandylounge.com

Sunday, Feb. 25

Making Oscar Wild

Even with daytime talk show host Ellen DeGeneres bringing the funny back to this year’s Academy Awards, four-plus hours of tearful acceptance speeches can be maddening without a few stiff drinks to smooth out the edges. Don’t spend the night stone cold sober, listening to one Oscar winner after another thank everyone in Hollywood including God—because God cares who wins the Oscar, He really does. Dash over to one of the following nightspots, which will be holding their very own viewing parties featuring enough cocktails, food and partygoers to keep your evening far from dull.

The Abbey—The Envelope Please, Oscar Viewing Party to Benefit APLA. $300. 4 p.m. 692 N. Robertson Blvd., W. Hlywd. www.apla.org

East/West Lounge—DIVA and Out in TV and Film’s Oscar Party 2007. $20. 3 p.m. 8851 Santa Monica Blvd., W. Hlywd. www.myspace.com/queerdiva

here lounge—Oscar Night 2007 Benefiting The Trevor Project. $50. 3 p.m. here lounge, 696 N. Robertson Blvd., W. Hlywd. www.thetrevorproject.org

MJ’s, 2810 Hyperion Ave., Silver Lake. (323) 660-1503

Knock Down, Drag Out

Grab a stiff bevy, sidle up to the stage and prepare for the sequins and double-sided tape to fly as your favorite drag divas battle it out—white trash style—for tonight’s Trailer Park Drag Idol. 10 p.m. Oasis, 1386 E. Foothill Blvd., Upland. www.oasis-nightclub.com

Play on, Player

It’s all about here lounge on Sunday nights as the club hosts Player featuring jock go-go boys, big name DJs and enough booze to keep your game going strong. Free. 7 p.m.-2 a.m. 696 Robertson Blvd., W. Hlywd. www.tomwhitmanpresents.com

Party in NoHo

It’s 8 o’clock on a Sunday night and you’ve got nothing to do. What’s a guy to do? Hit up the Sunday night beer bust at Club Cobra, where DJ Paul V. gets the crowd moving with his mix of indie alt. rock and electro beats, as the sultry Cobra dancers charm the bevy of beer-filled boys with their seductive moves. 8 p.m.-2 a.m. Free. 10937 Burbank Blvd., N. Hlywd. www.myspace.com/clubcobrala

Monday, Feb. 26

Crunch some numbers

If you like Numbers, how’s this one—1/2, as in half-price dinner deals every Monday night. Make your reservations today! 8741 Santa Monica Blvd., W. Hlywd. www.numbersrestaurant.com

Tuesday, Feb. 27

High-Octane Hangout

Looking to get your party on in the 818? Check out Club Fuel with its Twisted Tuesdays, Re-Fuel Thursdays, Commando Saturdays and Beer Bust Sundays. 11608 Ventura Blvd., Studio City. www.clubfuel.us

On the Cheap

Start your night off right by dropping by West Hollywood’s newest eatery, the boulevard lounge, for happy hour. For the price of a few cocktails at pricier establishments, you can throw down several drinks, an array of mouth-watering appies and even a burger or hot dog. Tues.-Fri., 4-7 p.m. 1114 N. Crescent Heights Blvd., W. Hlywd. (323) 654-6686

RImJOb

The name says it all, huh? Get there early to avoid the line. $6. MJ’s, 2810 Hyperion Ave., Silver Lake. www.mjsbar.com

Wednesday, Feb. 28

Looking Fierce or Fiercely Looking

Club Girl Talk at Encounters in Pasadena offers transgenders, cross dressers and their admirers a night to mingle while DJ Tony spins top 40 and dance hits into the night. $5. 203 Sierra Madre Blvd., Pasadena. www.encountersnightclub.com

Something wicked this way comes

Have a wicked good time at Club Metro’s Wicked Wednesdays, featuring live hip-hop, reggaeton and R&B performances with some of L.A.’s sexiest go-go dancers. Free with guest list before 10 p.m. $5 otherwise. Ultra Suede, 661 N. Robertson Blvd., W. Hlywd. (323) 769-6333

Sing Out, Louise

What better way to get over the mid-week hump than guzzling two-for-one drinks at Fiesta Cantina and captivating your friends with your own renditions of old karaoke standards? Karaoke with Kenny, 10:30 p.m.-1:45 a.m. 8851 Santa Monica Blvd., W. Hlywd. www.karaokewithkenny.com

Set ‘em Up and Knock ‘em down

Half-price specials on some of the best-tasting cocktails in West Hollywood? We’re there. Don’t miss Wednesday nights at East/West Lounge with its Premium blend of two-for-one drink specials running from 9-10 p.m. and again from midnight to 1 a.m. 8851 Santa Monica Blvd., W. Hlywd. www.eastwestlounge.com

Thursday, March 1

hell on heels

You loved her as Ginger in Killer Drag Queens on Dope, the 2003 film about two trannies working as contract killers for a one-eyed lunatic named Uncle A. Tonight you can meet Alexis Arquette, who will be signing DVDs of the modern camp classic at A Different Light Bookstore. 7:30 p.m. 8853 Santa Monica Blvd., W. Hlywd. (310) 854-6601

A Few Good men

Awards season marches on this evening when the ACLU of Southern California honors here! Network founders Stephen Jarchow and Paul Colichman as well as Chad Allen for their contributions to the LGBT community at a benefit taking place at Colichman’s Bel Air estate. $150. 5:30-8:30 p.m. (310) 284-8566 or johna@applegateconsulting.com

Getting down and dirty

Let’s get dirty with DJ Tony Powell spinning every week at Dirty Dirty House. $4. Akbar, 4356 Sunset Blvd., Silver Lake. www.akbarsilverlake.com

The Wetter the better

Get an eyeful at Thursday night’s Wet-and-Wild Shorts Contest. Winner takes home $100—and most likely a few phone numbers. Eagle L.A., 4219 Santa Monica Blvd., L.A. (323) 669-9472 or www.eaglela.com

Friday, March 2

Heels over Head

La Mirada Theatre for the Performing Arts kicks off its March Madness lineup with a stunning stage show by the Golden Dragon Acrobats, one of China’s leading acrobatic troupes who dazzle audiences with their gravity-defying moves and superhuman strength. $25-50. 14900 La Mirada Boulevard, La Mirada. www.lamiradatheatre.com

Freaky Friday

It’s Friday night—looking for something cheap and tawdry? Be a Whore! every Friday night with go-go boys and $1 shots. $5 cover. 9 p.m.-2 a.m. Club Fuel, 11608 Ventura Blvd., Studio City. www.tattletalepromotions.com

Skin is in

Skin is in at MJ’s bar every Friday night as Tattoo Chris and Anthony Lopez bring you a sexy dance party with hot mixes provided by DJ Mike. 9 p.m.-2 a.m. 2810 Hyperion Ave., Silver Lake. www.mjsbar.com

Saturday, March 3

Bootie Call

Shake your booty tonight at The Echo when DJs Paul V., Adrian and Mysterious D along with special guest, DJ Earworm, mash up your favorite tracks for Bootie L.A. Get there early for 2-for-1 admission and free bootleg CDs. $10. 9 p.m.-2 a.m. 1822 Sunset Blvd., Echo Park. www.bootiela.com

Go Commando

Whatever your feelings are about the Iraq mess, few would argue the need to support our troops. What better way than by heading over to Club Fuel’s Military Night to appreciate—and perhaps take home—a sexy sailor, hot army dude or a buff Navy seal? No cover. Every Saturday. 11608 Ventura Blvd., Studio City. www.clubfuel.us

Buddahlicious

After a five-year hiatus, the Buddah Lounge is headed back to West Hollywood. The new monthly Asian dance party, taking place at Ultra Suede the first Saturday of every month, kicks it all off tonight with DJ Mike Bryant at the turntables. $10. 9 p.m.-2 a.m. 661 N. Robertson Blvd., W. Hlywd. www.myspace.com/buddahloungela

So Effing Popular

Anybody who’s anybody will be at Popular—winner of the 2006 WeHo Award for best night club event—on Saturdays, dancing to the pop music, ogling the cute go-go boys and girls and cashing in on the half-price drink specials offered until 10:30 p.m. Free. 9 p.m.-2 a.m. Every Saturday. here, 696 N. Robertson Blvd., W. Hlywd. www.tomwhitmanpresents.com

A party to relish

Head over to Club 7969 for Jumbo Hot Dog, which is plumper, juicier and meatier than ever—and you won’t even have to worry about all those nasty nitrates. Every Saturday. 9 p.m. 7969 Santa Monica Blvd., W. Hlywd. (323) 654-0280

Sunday, March 4

Sunday night Fever

Still got some party in you this weekend? Hit up the über-trendy Area tonight for David Cooley’s and Jeffrey Sanker’s monthly dance party featuring music by DJ Josh Peace. Free before 10 p.m., $10 afterward. 8 p.m. 643 N. La Cienega Blvd., L.A. www.jeffreysanker.com

Cruise Control

Lookin’ for some action? Tonight’s hot spot is MJ’s, which hosts its Cruise T-Dance on Sundays from 5-9 p.m. DJ Quinn Callicott spins the best house music as loads of liquored-up hotties hit the dance floor. After 9 p.m., DJ Rick takes over, rewinding the party back to the crazy days of disco. 2810 Hyperion Ave., Silver Lake. (323) 660-1503 or www.mjsbar.com

Get Screwed

Embrace your inner master or dominatrix at Eagle L.A.’s Screw—and then quickly force it back into submission. The Purveyors of Perversion return to once again transform Eagle L.A. into a den of debauchery with nasty go-go sluts, S&M shows and DJ Tom Walker spinning cock rock, electronic and funk. $6. 9 p.m.-2 a.m. 4219 Santa Monica Blvd., L.A. www.eaglela.com

Monday, March 5

Mondays are a drag

Drop in to here lounge for Here’s Jackie!, the Monday night show featuring that sharp-tongued chanteuse Jackie Beat, who will have you rolling with her sassy shenanigans. Tonight, Jackie welcomes DJ Paul V. who will keep the party live. 696 N. Robertson Blvd., W. Hlywd. www.herelounge.com

TUEsday, March 6

Is this thing on?

You had ‘em rolling last week at the local Elks Lodge, and your grandma’s retirement home thinks you’re the funniest thing since Milton Berle. Kick your burgeoning comedy career up a notch tonight at Fubar’s new open mic comedy night hosted by New Orleans’ own drag diva, Beignet. $5. Every Tuesday through April 3. 8:30 p.m. Fubar, 7994 Santa Monica Blvd., W. Hlywd. (323) 654-0396

Get Tea bagged

No, Tea Bag is not an unfortunately named Starbucks competitor chock full of scones, finger sandwiches and techie types tapping away on their laptops. It’s actually a new balls-out dance party with thumping music provided by DJ Howie Pyro. Club 7969, 7969 Santa Monica Blvd., W. Hlywd. (323) 654-0280

WEDNESday, March 7

Express yourself

Whether it’s a sonnet, a haiku or just something you scribbled down on a Coffee Bean napkin, express yourself at Ultra Suede as Club Metro opens the mic up every Wednesday for Poetic Exchange. Free with guest list before 10 p.m. $5 otherwise. 661 N. Robertson Blvd., W. Hlywd. (323) 769-6333

THURsday, March 15

Luck be two ladies tonight

Looking for a good excuse to roadtrip it to Sin City? Well, pack your bags because Roseanne Barr is serving up the funny Vegas style with her new laugh-out-loud show, All You Can Eat Comedy, playing at the New York New York Hotel & Casino beginning March 15. Opening for the domestic diva will be longtime galpal, the hysterical Jackie Beat. Get your tickets today! 8 p.m. Through April 30. 3790 Las Vegas Blvd., Las Vegas. www.nynyhotelcasino.com